We’ve been working in Vancouver again this week. Beautiful city, not so friendly people and lots of old-car candy lurking in driveways and down sidestreets.

Checking out roadside relics was always a ritual when visiting the ‘left’ coast, especially decades ago when eastern cars only five years old were well on the way to the rust heap.

Many of the aged autos out here are prime examples of how some of the automotive trends gone bad have held up over time. The trends we mean are the ‘had-to-haves’ that have run their gamut and now have, or should have, gone the way of the dodo bird.

Now of course, there were those steering wheel knobs with the prerequisite naked woman (Lisa says: Huh? I’ve never seen one of those!), wire wheel hubcaps, curb detectors, fuzzy dice, fake gold nameplates and air fresheners. But what we’re talking about is the factory-installed options that in hindsight make one wonder how consumers ever embraced what manufactures were laying on them.

Here are a few of our favourites… not!:

1. Cladding. More like body moldings on growth hormones, cladding was like the muffin-top jeans, something you were embarrassed to look at it but morbidly drawn to. You couldn't look away.

Pontiacwas the leader in the cladding department and through the 1980s and 90s, the bloated beltline of Grand Prixs and Grand Ams were a sight to behold, especially on base models with skinny tires. When the Pontiac Aztec and Chevy Avalanche eventually lost their cladding, becoming more scantily clad, let’s say, they looked more fit and youthful.

2. Fake Wood Side Paneling. In the 1960s and 70s, this vinyl wood ‘tape’ was a popular option on lumbering station wagons like the Ford Country Squire, Mercury Colony Park, Caprice Classic and Buick Roadmaster. Seems every Jeep Wagoneer and Ford Ranchero had it, too.

But why? Did wood grain siding make cars go faster, give them better fuel economy or prevent rust? It was a pure marketing attempt to revive the feel-good days of real ‘woodies’, hauling a surfboard to catch a wave or working on the ranch. Or was it an early stab at conservation of our woodlands.

3. The Vinyl Roof. This style statement of the ‘60s, ‘70s and even the ‘80s, was a first cousin to imitation wood paneling. If a car didn’t have a vinyl top, it wasn’t hip. When they started to fade, crack and eventually disintegrate, one can’t help but wonder what might be living in the remnants. Creepy.

The vinyl top evolved into imitation convertible tops. Nothing like a 1982 Cadillac Seville four-door sedan with a fake convertible top to bring on a smile.

4. Raised Letter Tires. White wall tires have thankfully faded into the past. So why have raised-letter tires survived? In 1965, Garry used to meticulously paint the lettering on the tries of his dad’s truck. After all, the world needed to know that the Sowerby Store Fronts pick-up was sporting ‘Gum-Dipped Firestone Transport 110’ tires. That was almost 50 years ago!

It’s inconceivable that raised-letter tires are still around though. Why would someone pay $60,000 for a vehicle and the most obvious words on it scream something like ‘Desert Dueler’ or ‘Tiger Paw’.

We are sure there are other flopped, or should-have-flopped, automotive style statements. If you have one for which you feel particularly passion, loathing or love, let us know and we’ll mention it in next Tuesday’s Lisa-and-Garry-Go-Round blog.